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Re: Shocking

vinay said:
To my horror, there is as good as no forum member who is supporting the moderator on this event keeping in mind for what all he has done for the forum members in form of help on gadgets etc.
V.
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hi vinay -

for the record - i like venkatcr very very much - and i, too, realize the quantum of work that he has put in -

and this is not about push-pull between "the good" and "the evil".

i think it is about the establishment of principle - in essence, how much can we get away with before we are pulled up-

what happens here is - forum members will post their views - moderators will assess- and there will finally be a consensus about how much (and what) we cannot do.

regds suri
 
Going through this thread made me dig out some -isms that seemed to fit...

  • People who know the least always seem to know it the loudest
  • Just do it its easier to get forgiveness than permission
  • I believe in moderation in small doses
  • Youth is fleeting but immaturity can last a lifetime
  • Keeping your mouth shut can fool a lot of people
  • The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions
  • Man is the only animal that blushes or needs to
  • For every action theres an equal and opposite criticism
  • Dont question authority. It doesnt know either
  • Mince your words it makes them easier to eat later
  • The difference between genius and stupidity is: genius has its limits
  • Blessed are the censors, for they shall inhibit the earth
  • You learn something every day if youre not careful
  • Who needs rhetorical questions?
  • Common sense is what tells you the world is flat
  • Moderation is good, but you dont want too much of it
  • Never let facts get in the way of a good argument
  • Reality is in the eye of the beer holder
  • Silence is evidence of superb language skills
  • For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision
  • If youre ignorant, at least youre constantly surprised
  • To err is human. To forgive is against company policy
  • If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail
  • A bird doesnt sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song
 
Re: Shocking

suri said:
for the record - i like venkatcr very very much - and i, too, realize the quantum of work that he has put in -
Click to expand...

:o:o: Blush Blush.

suri said:
what happens here is - forum members will post their views - moderators will assess- and there will finally be a consensus about how much (and what) we cannot do.
Click to expand...

This sounds like a tug or war between two parties. Instead of rope they are using a long spring that will somehow keep a balance on both sides and not let any side fall. Hmmmmm. Needs pondering.

Cheers
 
The name of the the following threads should be changed as they sound obscene.

Amplifiers
Amplifiers & Receivers
DIY
Authorised Dealers
Wanted
Hot Deals

My 2 cents (of humour??) :)

Just kidding.
 
Some real corporate intelligence:

"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
(Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)

"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter."
(Lykes Lines Shipping)

"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business."
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

"This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."
(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."
(Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)

"No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them."
(R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me."
(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees."
(Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is admitted. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and, as is the wont for engineers, starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks, "So how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flushing toilets and working escalators, and there's no telling what an engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------
A man was chosen for jury duty who really wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial, he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin, he asked if he could approach the bench.

"Your Honor," he said, "I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in the blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and I said 'He's a crook! He's guilty!' So, your Honor, I cannot possibly stay on this jury!"

With a tired annoyance the judge replied, "Get back in the jury box, you fool. That man is the defendant's lawyer."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week." The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." Once again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."

The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, "I want to speak to my lawyer." "Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third time I've had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?" The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some real ads taken out by intelligent people


Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale

3 year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Great Dames for sale.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cheers
 
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Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland.

The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am"

The first guy says, "So am I and where about from Ireland might you be?"

The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin , I am."

The first guy responds, "Sure and begora, and so am I. And what street did you live on in Dublin ?"

The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town."

The first guy says, "Faith and it's a small world, so did I.

So did I. And to what school would you have been going?"

The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Mary's of course."

The first guy gets really excited and says, "And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?"

The other guy answers, "Well, now, let's see, I graduated in 1964."

The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us!
I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight.
Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self."

About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head & mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight"

Vicky asks, "Why do you say that, Brian?"

"The Murphy twins are drunk again."
 
Re: Shocking

vinay said:
Hello Moktan & Suri,

I think it is not right what you'll are writing in spite of the moderator requesting not to do so.

While Moktan, had one post late last night, which was the worst, it had writing of lick the ass, fat ass, sore ass, and a lot more worst was written on ass, further the most shocking part was that in-directly it was naming somone on this ass factor, who would that be, is anybody's guess, this post is now no more there, i think it should have not been deleted, everyone should see it, therefore it will be nothing like it if the post is restored for 2 days or so.

However there are times when one is not in good frame of mind and will write things and regret later, if the regret is there now, then sure we can move on by saying sorry etc.

To my horror, there is as good as no forum member who is supporting the moderator on this event keeping in mind for what all he has done for the forum members in form of help on gadgets etc. I have had differences with the moderator many a times, but i have not gone to such a extent, and now when i feel they are right, i will stand up and support them with this writing.

V.
Click to expand...
sir,
i am sorry if i have been a little late with my apologies. but sorry it is with all sincerity.
however please bear in mind that the 'offensive' post (the assorted 'assicons' which was not even an invention of mine-wish i could be as creative) had been made with an appropriate caveat. the intention wasn't to confront or titillate. the idea was to convey a simple fact, which is , vulgarity is as much in the eye and mind of the one sitting in value judgment as it is with the hypothetical purveyor/ progenitor of prurient posts (the kind which i have been censured for) . i don' t say this in a confrontational sense, since i humbly admit that hifivision has been the campus in which i have been educated on all matters related with the audiophile vocation (venkat sir in that sense has been the vc). my mistake perhaps was in not being reductionist enough.
 
Actual writings on hospital charts:

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

2. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

3. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

4. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

5. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

6. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

7. The patient refused autopsy.

8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

9. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

10. Patients medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Eye examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

21. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

22. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

23. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

24. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Cheers
 
Very interesting. "On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared" this made me Rolf.
 
Some 5 years ago, my colleague forwarded this joke to me a day[to scare me] before I boarded my first Qantas flight to Melbourne. Venkat's hospital chart reminded me about this one. So did a search on the net and found it..... here it is.....

Apparently, after every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet', which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' Pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

Pilots: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Engineers: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Pilots: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Engineers: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Pilots: Something loose in cockpit.
Engineers: Something tightened in cockpit.

Pilots: Dead bugs on windshield.
Engineers: Live bugs on back-order.

Pilots: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
Engineers: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Pilots: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Engineers: Evidence removed.

Pilots: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Engineers: That's what they're for.

Pilots: Suspected crack in windshield.
Engineers: Suspect you're right.

More Exchanges Between Qantas Pilots and Their Engineers
Pilots: Number 3 engine missing.
Engineers: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Pilots: Aircraft handles funny.
Engineers: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

Pilots: Target radar hums
Engineers: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Pilots: Mouse in cockpit.
Engineers: Cat installed.

And perhaps, the best Qantas joke...

Qantas Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
Engineers: Took hammer away from midget

Joke Courtesy: Qantas Pilot Jokes and Funny Engineer Reports
 
This is not a joke and my friends in Germany would agree :lol:

"The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility."


As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".


In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.


There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.


In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.


Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.


By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".


During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vordskontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.


Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.


Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas...
 
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